Monday, 2 July 2012

The Leave-Taking.

There is a little house that sits on a spit of land between a marsh and a sea, a place with jackdaws in the chimney, where lizards hide in the grass with the tiny shrews, where swans glide overhead and murmurations of starlings loop through curlew cries, and at dusk the bats swoop in their beautiful dance as herons skim the tops of the reeds against the sunset. There are countless birds that throng the marsh here, among them terns and mistle thrush and finches, lapwings, even occasional owls, and in the evening pheasant wander in the garden, and sometimes, somewhere beyond the reeds, a peacock calls, his cry across the marsh sending a tingle down your spine.



I have written so many times about the weather here and how it changes the shape of this place, about the seasons and how each one blooms and swells, brings dustly moths on the walls, spiders along the windows, stormy seas, sea mists, dancing sunlit grasses, endless blue skies, and sunsets that take your breath away.
I did mention big changes around here, didn't I? Big changes that we have been studiously ignoring the possibility of for rather a long time, now.


You see, our golden age is over.
For the sixteen years we have been living here, I have been in a little bubble with my babies, cocooned in this most magical of places, like some little creatures from the Wind in the Willows, the seasons rolling around us as we burrowed in, and we grew into this land, the green and the salt seeping into our blood and bones, from the very formation of my babies. Our Eldest was barely four months old when we moved in, and the following three were born right here in the living room with windows to the sea, and windows to the green and the mountains, pulling all combinations of seasons and weather and time of day into their beginnings, all manner of the elements that make this place so miraculously special, into the weave that is our little family.



As the years have passed, they have grown, we too, myself and Jay, have grown, this place like a paintbrush against our skin, each night touching up where it did not find us in our day, a tender reassuring like a fine mist that layers, and over the years has become our skin, as though we are this place and this place is us. But now it is at an end. When the year turns, together we will pack the little pieces of us, the myriad of little things that have been put together to form our home, the collections of Us, and we will move. And though nowhere will ever match this place, with all our hearts we know it will be somewhere beautiful. I do need green outside my window.



We are on a rollercoaster of emotions about it all. Some are excited, some wholeheartedly against it, but it is out of our hands, regardless, and because of that I have decided to embrace this change, the timing of which I can't complain about. I no longer spend my days embraced in this magical cocoon with my babies and toddlers, now that our Smallest is in school, instead I am out in the world more, looking at what I want to do with this next phase of my life, and this makes it easier to accept.
So, this summer will be about making the most of this remarkable place, a summer of gatherings of friends and loved ones, of Celebrating, and later in the week I will share with you, one such gathering that we had this weekend.

Photo by Líosa.

And who knows what wonderfulness is just around the corner, for I know there is a place for us.

16 comments:

marta said...

of course there is a place for you-
another special place just around he corner, for your special family. A place where many of us will be dyeing to get to, to spend time with you all, to feel at home away from home. You and your family make all that, not just the birds, and the sea... you´ll find your new lovely landscape for your very exciting new time in your lives. Good luck with it all xxx m

Mimi said...

Oh wow! Big news all right!
I think you will find that your new place will be just as perfect for this new era in your lives, as the old one was, and that you will weave the rich tapestry of your life with the new abode, just as you did with this one.
It will be the perfect home for you, I just know that it will!And it's out ther now, eagerly awaiting your imminent arrival.
Enjoy your summer of gatherings Ciara!

Martin said...

The world moves, and we move with it, Ciara, through the places and phases that unfold before us. Your mind-set will cushion your landing, wherever that may be.

GourmetGirlfriend said...

I have been waiting....
thinking.....
wanting to know.
Not wanting to keep asking you.....
And now I do.
And as usual - written so beautifully.
With all your heart in fact.
But there it is....it is YOUR heart.
It is YOUR heart that makes the magic Ciara.
You see what others miss.
And I suspect that you are exactly right......
No matter where you end up....it will be just as special.
Different yes, but special.
Because you and your heart will be there.
I love your quiet & positive acceptance of change- your understanding of it's inevitability and of our need to accept and drift along with it.
And to see that there will be goodness.
xx
Lots of love...
I know that not all in your brood will be finding it as you do & that the time from now till then may be tricky.....

Ciara said...

Thank you all, dear things, for your positive and supportive words.

Marta-dear, I know you know. :-) xx

Mimi, yes, a new place WILL be just as perfect for this new era in our lives!

Thanks, Martin, in a way the fact that it it out of our hands makes it easier to accept. Myself and Jay have moved many times in our lives, the children, never. We need to be positive about it for them!

Yes, GG, it will be a tough, emotional road ahead for us, but they won't know themselves when they get there, they can't imagine the difference it will make to their lives. We'll get through this and be amazed at what it brings. Thanks for your sweet words. :-)

C xxx

acornmoon said...

I have read your blog for a few years now and each time I think about our holidays in Ireland and my mother-in-law saying to me, (when my kids were little) "These are the best years of your life so treasure every minute".
I get the sense that you have done just that, and you have shared your treasure with us.

I am pleased to report that each age brings new treasures which I know you will find in abundance.
I hope that wherever life takes you you keep on writing because you have such a gift.

Stephanie V said...

Change is the only constant.

You will make something special of the new place that you find....you will because I think you must make evry place special. You find those things that touch your heart - and ours - with thier soft fingertips. Looking forward to your celebration summer.

Kerry O'Gorman said...

You know the old saying "home is where the heart is" ? Well, you're hearts will always find a home within 4 walls no matter where it may be since they are truly grand. I sometimes think of moving and think of all of the 'baggage' I would bring with me.
The life you have lived there will trail behind you like a thread of light and new paths will show themself to you at the same time.
Wishing you all the light and love in your new chapter.

Mom said...

I love reading about the joys of your family and love of your land. i look forward to hearing about the next step. Your loving heart will make wherever you are a beautiful place.
Sue

Kelly Sheehy said...

So, so beautiful! We are in the same phase as you are right now, with a big move on the near horizon. I am packing up our home, and memories come flooding back as I sort through all of our belongings. Fortunately, there is also excitement about our new beginnings! :)

Sara said...

Such big news, and big change. What a wonderful adventure you will have. Wishing you happiness and peace during this time. Can't wait to hear all about it. xx

Louise Williams said...

You write beautifully about change and embracing it - wonderful to read and inspiring. And the photos! L

Gigi Thibodeau said...

Oh, sweet Ciara--such huge changes on the horizon for all of you! I felt weepy just reading this--weepy happy and weepy sad . . . and everything in between. No matter where you go, it will be magical, because you will be there, and you will make it so. This I simply know to be true about you.

Sending love and all best wishes . . . xo g

SWEDISH HOUSE said...

Hello Ciara!!!
I always think in song lol!
There's a place for us...somewhere a place for us...
Reading through the comments I know through your sharing on here, YOUR HEART truly is in all & everything you do...
Home is where YOUR HEART is and family is gathered. I am sure that your future home...will be just as special..
Thinking of you...
LOVE PEACE enJOY everyone & everything always
Julie
x

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Change.
It's always around waiting to surprise us with new adventures, molding us into newer, fresher versions of ourselves. I'll be thinking of you my friend!!
xoxo
pamela

jodi said...

I'm wishing you very good luck for this next phase of things. I am positive you have it in you to make this transition a wonderful one, but good luck wishes never hurt anyone either!