Saturday, 11 December 2010

Something Is Lost...

Do you ever wonder why or how you blog? I mean, how you find the time to fit it in to your busy day? I look around at all you incredible bloggers out there, and the tiny snippets of your lives that we glimpse in between the lines of loveliness you post, the little 'fragments of your days', and I wonder, how do we do it! 
And to be honest I don't know.
The week in pictures,
A poorly boy. Again.
I have lately found myself struggling to capture the everyday magic that once came so easily to me. My camera more often than not lies forgotten as I run out the door, or dash about after small people with big bellies and hollow legs that need to be filled, and then, at night I find myself lying, eyes wide on the ceiling above as I try and recall some little fragment of magic that I know was there today. If only I could find it.
And even the pictures I do take seem to me to somehow highlight what I don't know about taking pictures.  And to lack more than anything. They certainly don't inspire and excite me they way they used to.

Before the cold set in.
Maybe it's the time of year, you say. But no, it's been a long time coming. I went from blogging every day (imagine!) to three or four times a week, to now barely once a week. This is not good.
It's not that I have nothing to say, but more the beauty spins by so fast I don't have time to even try and grasp or capture it. The dizzy carousel of life I am on is just that bit too fast, it has run away from me
and I lost some things along the way.

Busy little hands at work.
And so for the last week and a half, while we had nowhere to go and time on our hands, we sewed and made for Christmas, and baked cakes and built dens, and we did our best to keep warm in an old house with no central heating, and invariably one by one we succumbed to coughs and colds.

Our time away from the world was lengthened.

What I found one morning.
I listened to music that made the snow fall, I watched films that gently pulled the blankets higher and tighter around us, 
and the snow fell. The snow fell. And the snow fell. 
Like an endless slumber we went under, we slipped away from the world...

Hipstamatic shots.




I have thought and thought about it, and no, I am not ready to give up Milkmoon. I don't think so. But I do wonder if, or how I can make all these pieces of mine fit...

39 comments:

Susan said...

Hello Dear Ciara...Just write when you feel the urge. Keep your thoughts of what you would LIKE to write, then, when you have the opportunity, let them flow onto your computer screen.

Writing is vastly important. We cannot let our thoughts and words slip away. There are some times, however, that we feel more prolific than others.

You have a beautiful writing style and you take awesome photos. Be gentle with yourself, dear Ciara. You are very talented. Don't let your gift disappear like a soap bubble.

Take care and whenever you write, I will always love reading your posts. Warmly, Susan

texassky said...

I understand. I sure would miss reading your blog. You are the only connection I have to your part of the world geographically and it would be ashamed to part with that. But, I understand. Your blog is such a joy. I hope you find the time, here and there, to keep it current. Merry Christmas from Houston, Texas! And, yes, we do wear cowboy boots 'round here.

xox
texassky

patty said...

Ciara, i would miss your blog. we get to see a small part of your world in a place i would love to be. Your blog is one of the ones that keep me connected to Ireland even though I've only been there for 3 weeks in the past 2 years. We all understand how crazy life can get, so blog when you can and i'll be ready to read

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I think all creative people feel this way at some time or another. Inspiration waxes and wanes. I do hope you regain your enthusiasm for this blog though. I would miss it!

GourmetGirlfriend said...

I think us mums of plenty are SOOOOO hard on ourselves.
I can't imagine any of your audience NOT understanding that you can't manage as many posts as you used to.
I do the same- give myself a hard time for not posting often enough.
And i totally agree with Pamela Terry and Edward- we all wax & wane......
We'll all still be here happy to read & look when you are good and ready.
xx

Martin H. said...

Ciara, you'll know that similar thoughts having been going through my mind, of late, but Blogland would be a poorer place without Milkmoon. I, for one, don't mind how often you post. It's the magic contained within, that I look forward to. The Hipstamatic sequence is wonderful.

Millie said...

I agree with the others, we wax and wane when we create and blog. You would miss Milkmoon very much if you gave it up, and it is clear that many other would too. Blog at your own pace, and there will be people there to read whatever you write...Take care and stay warm. M

crazyidiot said...

blogging doesn't have a time limit.. so do at your own pace...

scrazyidiot.blogspot.com

Rima said...

I too would miss Milkmoon!
Don't fret, I only blog once every two or three weeks!! Feel no obligation, just present the magic when it comes...
I also marvel at others' amazing ability to do everything and blog.
I suppose when we began blogging we had a lot stored up to scatter here, but now we must have spaces to live the magic before we can write it down. Somewhat like the difficult second or third album or novel, I guess :)
Much love to you and you dear brood xxx

Lisa Conmara said...

that one at the church could be me and fergal... :(

I love that church. It was the BEST rollerskating place.

affectioknit said...

I appreciate all your posts! Blessings and Peace be with you this Advent season...

Sara said...

I'm there too... my posts are further and further apart. Even this time of year when there is so much to write about, I am at a loss.

I would miss you terribly.

xx

Becky H. said...

This is my first time reading your posts & I say KEEP WRITING whenever you can. =] You have such a beautiful way with words! Don't deprive the blog world of your talent. Lovely blog!

Emma said...

Hi Ciara, it makes me cry to think you might stop Milkmoon, but of course I cannot talk. I know what a burden blogging can become. But really, you have no idea what joy it brings me, your sister, all the way over here on the other side of the ocean. I know we can skype and email and Facebook, but none of it is the same as seeing the world through your eyes, distilled in the poetry of your words and pictures. Maybe you could take the pressure off yourself and not commit to doing it so often. Still, if you do stop, you have already created a wonderful thing. And there is no undoing that.

Andrew said...

Hi Ciara don't be so hard on yourself. The build-up to Christmas can be exhausting. All those lists of things to do and people to keep happy. Sometimes you just have to look at things from a different angle. Don't be counting the times you are not blogging instead be pleased when you do. The hardest thing to do is set realistic targets that suit our busy lives! It sounds like you need an exciting new challenge for the new year! I love your blog and your photos.

Andrew said...

Whoops sorry that was Fiona above not Andrew, didn't realize I was in his account!!

ladybug-zen said...

i'm going/have been going through the very same thing...and for a while now...even with photography. my camera is very lonely, sucked away in the a corner somewhere. i'm not sure what i want to do about it or if i should do anything.

wishing you well

Karen said...

Ciara ...I agree with the comments above. I think there are times when we are all lost for words. Sometimes our batteries just need recharging and we need quiet. It's also hard to fit things in especially when you have a young family. You do marvellouslly! Just write when you feel inspired to whether it be daily or monthly.You will still have your readers. xx

HKatz said...

Also agree with what others have said. Don't worry about it. Post when you feel like it, take photos when you feel like it and share your words when they come. Analyzing it too much or worrying too much will take away the magic and spontaneity. In the meantime, keep loving the carousel of life.

Kerry O'Gorman said...

I am also in a 'no post' mood lately. Not sure why...I have a new part time job, so on my days off I try to catch up with needle felting orders and the regular household chores, cooking and taking care of chickens and goats and dogs. Also reflecting on the loss of my gramma...I think the weather has something to do with it as well, it's been pouring rain here for days...not the kind of weather I want to take my camera out in.Please don't give up Milk moon! And never apologize for not posting...no matter what,few and far between means we get to catch up on all your news. And your lovely snaps as well!

In Real Life said...

I absolutely love reading your blog, Ciara! I think Milkmoon is a magical, inspiring place. Every post is a delight.

mise said...

Once a week is fine, Ciara, or as often as you want! A busy spell has swamped me lately, and I barely have time to post at all. Reading can always be fitted into snatched moments, but I confess I'm daunted by daily posters - I just can't read that much and would rather they posted a more distilled version less frequently. And living the moment is more important than recording it - or if it is to be recorded, the best way is in your head, as anything else, words, photos, even film, has a certain artifice to it. Keep warm! xx

jaboopee said...

..there is a whole heap of magic in this post ciara brehony and like all your posts there's something intangibe, evocative and just plain lovely..so don't you dare stop or there'll be a riot of bloggers trundling over the wicklow mountains to protest...

That you blog at least once a week is an amazing feat given EVERYTHING else you do .

But i agree there is something in the blogging zeitgeist ,and that initial first year of bloggin enthusiasm is hard to recapture...

one of my favourite sayings is
SELDOM IS WONDERFUL ....
So whenever is good for you is assuredly good for us . Elaine xhugx

Stephanie V said...

Your blog, your life, your time, your moods. Whenever you choose to share some of your wonderful words and photos, I'll be here. You are an oasis in my busy-ness.

Ciara said...

Oh thank you all, for your support and sweet comments. It means a lot to me, truly. It is heartening to hear so many of you identifying with what I am feeling. I promise not to say I am giving up, but I do need to take the self-imposed pressure off myself. Maybe then I will find the time in the moments I don't expect to. Who knows. But I do promise to do my best, for all you loyal followers. And I also promise to pop in to see you all whenever I can.
Ciara x

OnlyLostBunny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OnlyLostBunny said...

*****I don't have a problem finding things to write about because I have too much things Im passionate about. Its understanding my style and target audience I have difficulty with but I will keep going till I understand. You can take a look and give me wisdom or anyone interested. Its appreciated. :)

Tracey said...

I have felt the same way lately. But you can not give it up all together. Please come round, however seldom. Your presence will always be welcome, and greeted with warmth, like a visit from an old friend.

denise said...

Me too. I think it, as life, goes in cycles, up and down, in and out, with ease and with struggle. What you share is beautiful. Will always look forward to seeing your corner of the world, whenever you do feel the need to share!

denise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angela Bell said...

Your blog is lovely please find time to do it.I think blogs are the same as a diary also a very nice shared experience.It is lovely to connect in this way.All the best Angela x

Esti said...

Don't you dare to give up, Miss Ciara!!
We have parallel lives, remember? and I'm not ready to leave ;)
Lately I've been struggling too. I like blogging, having it as a perfect exit from a world to another where I can find my voice. See, something has happened while I was doing it: I've learned to stop and enjoy and look for the magic and laugh with friends and appreciate my surroundings. This is has a lot to do with blogging, learning from others and acknowledging myself. So now it's all a matter of time, and sometimes passion. But it's ok.
We'll be fine to see you every now and again, but always knowing that you haven't vanished in thin air.
Hugs.

Mimi said...

Well, ciara, I don't know how but i missed this post, until your newer one popped up.
Your words and pictures are always so beautiful and so different. I have felt so plain, dull, when describing snow, for instance, compared to the soft, romantic images we find here.
However seldom or often you post is fine by me, take the pressure off yourself.
I feel that the blog is a good way of recording snapshots of my life, but that doesn't have to be daily snapshots. And I don't know where we find the time! In any given week, something gives; that could be my "daily" walk, the house, french horn, whatever. It chaotic sometimes, but i tell myself to embrace the chaos!

Gigi said...

Oh, darling one, the fact that I am only now just responding to this post is proof that I am exactly in the same space in relation to blogging. It is such a struggle to fit it into my life right now, and yet I still hold it dear, if not for my own blog's sake, for the sake of the friendships like yours that I have made through it.

I'm hoping that after the crush of the holidays I will feel differently, but I am working right now on so many writing deadlines, trying to make a living through writing and teaching, that the psychic space and energy I have left for blogging is tiny--like the teeny door in Alice and Wonderland. I wonder if there's a potion to drink or a cake to nibble that can help me.

Thanks for this post. It's just what I needed, which is not at all important, but still very true.

Love to you--Gigi

Snag Breac said...

I relaly enjoy coming to your blog every now and then and don't care how often you write - its a beautiful place and I'd love to see you keep at it!
I love your picture of what you found in the morning.
Its little things like that that keep some spark alive - that remind me why I love life.
I too am a random blogger - no real regularity, and I often wonder why I stay at it, and then along comes something inspiring again...such is life!

Mel's Kitchen said...

Dearheart-
I know very much how you feel.Life can weigh us down,even if a happy life! There is so much... But let me say that even though I've found myself blogging less and less due to similar reasons, even visting & reading in this realm less and less, YOU are thought of often.The mark you've left in many hearts,in MY heart will go on whether or not this blog is continuing.You have brought so much beauty & so much of yourself so DILIGENTLY,so amazingly, I can imagine that even a lessening feels like a hard break.But we do what we can.When we can.You refresh us all & have for so long. Now its your turn to be refreshed.Along with your family.You all MUST come first.On an airplane,in an emergency, you affix the mask to your OWN face first, then to that of your children.Without the parent, there'd be noone to tend to the children.And so it goes... I'm not worried.I know you are a creature who expresses the beauty you see and feel and the world is the better for it. No matter the venue.

Love & Hugs & Christmas Wishes,

Melissa

littlemarymixup said...

I can relate. Maybe you have slowed down because of the busy-ness of life. Don't be hard on yourself. You have little ones that keep you busy. Kind of ironic because it's the beauty of that life that opens a window of life for us, your followers.

I have loved writing my blog yet I have slowed down as well from time to time. It is just more than a year ago that I joined this blogging world.
With only 33 official followers and many friends and family who read without following, I get discouraged to think that it's not good enough.That's my ego.

I think I hoped for more...and that slows me down. Crazy because whenever I hear back by word of mouth, readers seem to enjoy it. That is encouraging. Also, I love to tell stories. I began blogging for ME. And my ego holds me back.

Your blog is so beautiful. You do have loyal followers. Keep going. Even if less...for now. We love it.

Amanda said...

I second Rima's comment 100%. I would love to continue reading your posts when the magic comes. No matter how often or not-so-often that happens!

underthebigbluesky said...

i am just catching up to this, so you can see how my life has carried me away. i too think of it ciara, why we do it. i hope we do it for ourselves, but it's nice that others come along on the journey. i agree with you, i have been so sad to see some people go, and am always happy to find you here when i pop in.

it looks like you posted this at a busy time and i see you are still at it, so i am glad you chose to say.

blog without obligations, blog for yourself and if you decide it is no longer time accept it gracefully, but i have tried many times and it's like a siren's song, always calls me back.....