Saturday, 24 January 2009

Home.

Home is very much on my mind these days. 

We are blessed to be living in a heavenly place that is dear to our hearts. We wished for this place, many many years ago, Jay and I. Two young idealists in a caravan in Holland wishing for this exact place, though we didn't know it. I had three things on my list after where it would be, which was beside the sea in north Wicklow. I wanted a big garden, a big bathroom, and a fireplace. 

All these things, and many more we couldn't imagine, were granted to us, and we have been here twelve years now. Three of our babies were born in the sitting room. It is in our collective familial blood. Our own ghosts haunt us here in the tiny voices that are gone forever, the childish passions that have long been grown out of, a tiny remnant turning up in a box or pocket or bag, each time breaking my heart one more little piece at a time. 

And though now we are bursting the seams of this little house, and I sometimes tear my hair out over it, I cannot tear myself away from it. It is so very much a part of us. It is their whole lives, their memories, part of who they are.  


I never imagined a place could have such a hold on my heart. There is nothing that will ever take it out of me.
And each year, this time, when old, cold winter tightens it's grip for the longest time, and I feel myself falter and wish for something more, something better, I wake up feeling as though I have betrayed a dear old friend.

We truly are blessed. Look around us. How could we better this? And though maybe we might find ourselves moving on some day it will not be easy. It will break our hearts. 


But we have hope that there will be a solution to our growing problem of too many people and not enough space for each to grow and flourish as they should. The tiniest spark is all we need.


So while there is constant reviews and makeovers and rearrangements and plans, we are gradually achieving what we want. And there is plenty more to come. 
So I do think there may be a bit of an interiors theme here in my Something Lovely posts for a wee while. Bear with me! For some interior views of our little place have a look here and here, and maybe here.

And what about you?
What does home mean to you? Is it simply somewhere to close the door behind you at the end of the day? Somewhere to be grateful for no matter how short it falls of your ideal? Or is it something more? Something that goes deeper?

8 comments:

Emma said...

Very moving. When you first moved in, who would have imagined you would be there so long and fill it so full with so much life and laughter? What a dear house. And family. I miss being able to pop down at weekends.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Oh, you are whistling my tune. Our home is a part of us, down to the very fiber of our beings. We found it the very weekend after our engagement, and have been here ever since....building on, adding rooms and studios. It is our sanctuary. It is our friend.

And, being an interior designer...I look forward to your upcoming "interiors theme"!

acornmoon said...

I can see why you are so in love with your house and the landscape but I believe that home is where the heart is and that is with loved ones wherever they may be.

Fiona said...

Ah this is so gorgeous, your home oozes each and everyone of your personalities with every corner you turn. Its not everybody that can stamp their mark and individuality so firmly on their home and thats what makes your house so uniquely special.......looking forward to visiting soon.

Bovey Belle said...

Home is a place of memories, of family, of little knick-knacks which reflect your personality and interests. It is where your children took their first steps, padded along the landing to find your bed in the small hours, learned to do jigsaws, ate jelly and birthday cake, gave you sticky kisses.

We have spent 21 years in this old farmhouse, stopping it falling down, reclaiming rooms, leaving it when we are able to downsize is going to be like cutting an artery of memories . . .

marta said...

The view from your kitchen makes me think of "home" i just get that feeling anytime i see it. of course I loved A Year at my Back Door
Hopefully someday I´ll have my own home!
x

Esti said...

These words resonate with me... Right at this moment I feel I want to move on to another house, ours too old and a bit fallin apart, although enchanting I must admit. Home is where I feel confident, where nothing can harm me or my family; home is where I can think there's no outside... However, just thinking of moving makes me dizzy... :)

Therese Turner Himmer said...

Your home looks lovely, it looks like a home with and a lot warmth and love, my home is important to me....but still I could live anywhere and anyhow as long as I have my husband and my five little ones with me....
Love T