Home.

Home is very much on my mind these days. 

We are blessed to be living in a heavenly place that is dear to our hearts. We wished for this place, many many years ago, Jay and I. Two young idealists in a caravan in Holland wishing for this exact place, though we didn't know it. I had three things on my list after where it would be, which was beside the sea in north Wicklow. I wanted a big garden, a big bathroom, and a fireplace. 

All these things, and many more we couldn't imagine, were granted to us, and we have been here twelve years now. Three of our babies were born in the sitting room. It is in our collective familial blood. Our own ghosts haunt us here in the tiny voices that are gone forever, the childish passions that have long been grown out of, a tiny remnant turning up in a box or pocket or bag, each time breaking my heart one more little piece at a time. 

And though now we are bursting the seams of this little house, and I sometimes tear my hair out over it, I cannot tear myself away from it. It is so very much a part of us. It is their whole lives, their memories, part of who they are.  

I never imagined a place could have such a hold on my heart. There is nothing that will ever take it out of me.

And each year, this time, when old, cold winter tightens it's grip for the longest time, and I feel myself falter and wish for something more, something better, I wake up feeling as though I have betrayed a dear old friend.

We truly are blessed. Look around us. How could we better this? And though maybe we might find ourselves moving on some day it will not be easy. It will break our hearts. 

But we have hope that there will be a solution to our growing problem of too many people and not enough space for each to grow and flourish as they should. The tiniest spark is all we need.

So while there is constant reviews and makeovers and rearrangements and plans, we are gradually achieving what we want. And there is plenty more to come. 

So I do think there may be a bit of an interiors theme here in my Something Lovely posts for a wee while. Bear with me! For some interior views of our little place have a look here and here, and maybe here.

And what about you?

What does home mean to you? Is it simply somewhere to close the door behind you at the end of the day? Somewhere to be grateful for no matter how short it falls of your ideal? Or is it something more? Something that goes deeper?